“You’re terminated. Get to the chopper”

So speaks Arnold Schwarzenegger, the new host of The Celebrity Apprentice. In a move that not even the most hung-over-drug-induced-bong-smoking-embracing-their-inner karma-so rad-it-hurts script writing team could have come up with, the reality TV show had to find themselves a new host because the current host got the biggest gig in the firmament: 45th President of the United States of America. I wonder whether there was a clause in the scree of paper produced by NBC’s legal team that made provision for his being released from his contractual obligations because of  having to pick the new carpet for the Oval Office? It made me smile when I heard that the theme tune to The Celebrity Apprentice is “For the Love of Money” by The O’Jays. Regardless of one’s political affiliation, I don’t think that anyone could disagree that it would have been an equally appropriate theme tune for the Clinton campaign to be carpet-picker-in-chief. I would like to think that I and the new commander-in-chief of the world’s most expensive military with the second largest nuclear arsenal, (that will soon become the largest if his inauguration speech is any indication of what is to come) have quite a lot in common. An appreciation of the Eastern European female form is one of them. A deep and enduring love for what hair we have left another. Although if I may be so bold Donald, I really think that the shaven action hero look trumps (geddit?) the sugar-icing on a christening cake look. Just my opinion, but I bet Melania would agree. Tell her The Chesh said. No, what really unites us is the internet and the scurrilous statements perpetuated about us through the cyber sphere. Intercepted communications implying that the Russian government had helped to elect him are almost of equal import to landlords who we last represented two years ago (with no complaint, I must add) slating us on a review site. Being serious for one moment, the review that featured on raterAgent the team at Cheshire & Co were outraged to read, not least because 1. It was wholly inaccurate (and that is a generous description), as evidenced in the Cheshire & Co response, but 2. It made no sense at all. Why post an outraged, damnatory review two years after any involvement with the agency who managed your rental property; why not before? Why mention another agency extolling their efficiency? Why not write a review praising them on their own website/review page? The conspiracy theorists among us might suggest that a representative from the said agency prompted our reviewer to punch out his disgruntled dispatch…Only time will tell.