Or that should perhaps read,”I don’t really want to go there in the first place/I can’t get out of this godforsaken $%^&*”£ quick enough”. Forget Boris ‘It is with a heavy heart (not)… I want to choose the carpet in Number 10’ Johnson, Dave ‘I’m adopting the American presidential approach where by my second term all I am doing is working my notice-what happens in Europe in ten years has sod all to do with me’ Cameron or Angela ‘If we’d made it to the other side of the Channel in 1940 (Hitler’s Directive No 16) this would never have happened’ Merkele pantomime of who wants to go, who wants to stay and who-whether or not they want to stay will be told in no uncertain terms at the next Cabinet meeting that they are going-the real brexit is about Cardiff. Ronnie Sullivan got the hump and enraged ‘true’ sporting fans when refusing to go for the 147 maximum break at the Welsh Open as the £10k on offer was not sufficient. Last time that I looked the debate was still raging as to whether snooker actually qualifies as a ‘sport’ or whether it remains a ‘parlour game’ (those of you who watched Steve Davis on ‘Superstars’ will appreciate that the athletic prowess associated with sporting endeavour and success was embarrassingly absent) and I don’t believe that it states anywhere in the rules that a player has to go for the maximum break. It was left to Ding Jun Hui to pocket the money for which he was I am sure delighted. It obviously didn’t bother Ronald too much as he still lifted the trophy for the fourth time yesterday evening. Aside from doing a Linda Evangelista, what Ronnie was underwhelmed by was Cardiff itself. Having had a haircut, a Chinese (meal, not opponent) and a coffee, Ronald announced that he was bored in Cardiff, as there wasn’t much to do. Going on previous form and his liking for a punch up, Columbian marching powder and ladies who charge £150 an hour, I can assure him that Cardiff would be more than capable of easing the boredom, although the Welsh Tourist Board may not be quite so enamoured with such marketing. The other celebrity looking to (and succeeding in) spending as short a time as possible in the Welsh capital was Rhianna. Having announced her Cardiff tour date to much, “I can’t wait” fanfare, the gig is now cancelled due to “logistical reasons”. Mmm. Would a ‘reason’ be insufficient ticket sales?
Elsewhere in the country, it was reported at the weekend that instead of looking for the exit, many people in the Salisbury Plain area are going to be looking for the keys to get into their new luxury apartment located in the historical setting of Shepton Mallet Prison. This is possibly the first time that people will be actively looking to go to prison (even one that holds the record for having the highest walls of any of HMP’s establishments). On the same page of the property news, Ross Clark, a “property expert” answered questions posed to him by members of the house owning/selling/buying public. One gentleman wanted advice as to whether he should wait until the spring to sell his home, or-as his local estate agent advised-sell now as things may not be so good after the budget. This did do a Ronnie on me: Firstly, estate agents make their money from volume of sales, not necessarily extracting the best possible price from one individual property (less it being Buckingham Palace in size). Ross elaborates further when he stated that there is good reason to wonder whether the market will still be as strong in April. True, but come on Ross, we are now in the last week of February, the chances of getting a completion before the 1 April are as likely as Ronnie O’ Sullivan being given the Freedom of the City of Cardiff. The final piece of ‘expert’ advice was to ensure that the estate agent takes new pictures of the property as a photograph in wintry conditions would be a “clue” that the property was taking time to sell. Of course a picture with snow on the ground and a ‘Santa Stop Here’ sign-for a property that is being marketed in June-will not help, but I think that an even bigger clue will be the line on the botom of the Rightmove listing that says ‘Date First Listed’. Just a thought.